Hello. My name is Eryn, and I'm a Control Freak!

For those of you who don't know, I (Eryn) have started an online bible study through Melissa Taylor and Proverbs31 Ministries. The book we are using to guide us through is Let. It. Go. by Karen Ehman. We are two chapters into the book, and already my eyes are being opened just a little wider, and my heart is being changed.
Hello, my name is Eryn and I am a control freak. More specifically, I am a manipulative control freak according to the control quotient test at the end of chapter 1, of which I got a quotient of 36. I manipulate others by:

1. I try and persuade others to see my point of view and take on the same opinion that I have so we will agree, and I will get my way. 
2. I agree to do SOME of the things people ask me to do so that they will "owe" me. Please don't take this to mean that if I have done something for you that it was so you would owe me. This is only true in certain situations. 
3. I control my family by letting/not letting them do something based on my wants, desires, and preferences. When they don't agree with me, I sulk until they do.
4. I use my chronic illness to make others feel sorry for me so that they will agree with me and I will, in turn, get my way. 

BUT, I have hope and so do you! By going through this study I hope to learn how to do the following two things:

1. To determine the difference between being conscientious (our/my part) and being in control (God's part)
2. To control what I (we) should and TRUST God with the rest. 

As I write the above, something else occurs to me. But first a little background, I am also going through Mark Driscoll's book Who Do You Think You Are? as part of my small group bible study. In the first chapter Mark talks about idols, and uses it as an acronym.

Items

Duties

Others

Longings

Sufferings

Now for the something else that occurred to me. As I finished writing about being a manipulative control freak, and went to hit publish, I hesitated. I hesitated, because admitting what I admitted above is difficult to do and there were two things that I DIDN'T want to happen.

1. I didn't want others to comment on this and not agree with my point of view. Controlling much? But this is something I already admitted to. And something I am working on fixing.
2. I am deathly afraid of what everyone who is reading this is going to think of me. That falls into the Others in IDOLS category. Guess I better get going on fixing this issue as well...#sigh.

I am so grateful to be going through both of these books. I am learning so much about myself, who God wants me to be and how to be that person. Please pray for me. Pray for the transformation that needs to take place in me. That I can become the woman God wants me to be.

-Eryn

The Passing of a Matriarch

It was a bright and sunny day in June 2011. A perfect day for a graduation party. Justin and I had our BS in Computer Science and we celebrated with his family and friends. One of the first people I got to meet was an elderly woman with the biggest smile I have ever seen on a person. 

"Eryn, I'd like you to meet my grandma, Elsie Wutzke." This was proceeded with a giant hug from Elsie. Then Justin got a hug from her too. I learned a few things about Elsie that day. 1) She smiled always. 2) She hugged everyone. 3) She spoke her mind no matter what!

Over the course of the next year I got to spend more time with grandma. She came to our wedding and was full of smiles, love, and advice. We stayed a night with her in Myrtle Creek and met half the town at dinner because they all knew her by name. With each encounter I learned a little, and sometimes a lot, more. Not just about her and her way of life, but about how life should be lived and what should truly be treasured.

Grandma's life was NOT easy. Born in 1924 on a farm in North Dakota, her mother died when she was only 14 days old from pneumonia. Her father remarried a widow, and all told there were 18 kids between them! She grew up on a farm, as well as married a farmer whom she worked side by side with, and knew what the definition of hard work was first hand. Grandma had to quit school after the 6th grade so she could help support her family. This didn't stop her from getting a High School Diploma in 1974, graduating the same year as her youngest son Nick. After which she continued her education in knitting and oil painting, among other things. She also taught bread making, one of her special culinary talents.  Grandma went to church every Sunday morning, senior Bible study every week, and joined a diet club. But she never went alone, even after Grandpa died 7 years ago. Grandma picked up any elderly lady that couldn't drive and took them with. If they needed a ride, and there was room in the car, Grandma was there. Every birth, graduation, and marriage meant another quilt lovingly made by grandma, and the guarantee she would be there to give it to you in person and share in your joyous day. 

Hard work, perseverance, education, teaching, service to others, fear of the Lord, love of the Lord, family, forgiveness, speaking your mind, and many, many other things were all very important to grandma. And she made sure to pass the importance of those things down to her children and grandchildren, instilling in them the same values she exemplified throughout her life. 

Getting a message that a loved one isn't doing well is never easy. And while grandmas readiness to meet the Lord, her daughter lost at birth, her mother, and to see her granddaughter Sara Lynn again was comforting, it doesn't ease the pain of those words. Monday December 3, 2012, 7 years and 2 days after her husband passed, Grandma Elsie R. Wutzke passed away in her son Ken's home with her daughter-in-law Pat by her side. Her celebration of life was held on Sunday December 9, 2012. 

Grandma, you will be fondly remembered, and greatly missed.

Charlie

And we shall call him Charlie! And we shall squeeze him, and love him, and hug him forever more!

Meet the newest member of the Wutzke family, Charlie.

He and Chyenne are already having a LOT of fun!

Update

I just realized its been over a year since I last posted to this blog. Here is a quick recap:

2012

January

Chyenne had her golden birthday turning 10. (Golden birthday is when you turn the age of the day you were born on. Chy's birthday is January 10 so her 10 th birthday was her golden birthday) This meant that she got the grand blow out party of all parties. She invited several friends and family members to Grandma and Grandpa Wutzke's house to have lunch from Subway, and cake. Then we went to the Kroc center where she and her friends swam and climbed the rock wall. All in all it was a FANTASTIC day, and one that will go down in infamy.

February

Justin and I got married on the 18th.  It was the second best day of my life so far. (Chyenne's birth was the best, sorry babe ;) )

A diagnosis of Serum Negative Inflammatory Arthritis was given and Immunosuppresants were prescribed to treat it.

August

I finally discovered what was creating all the pain, stomach issues, and asthma that the doctors tried passing off as Fibromyalgia, acid reflux, and whatever else. Gluten. I stopped eating gluten and my pain levels are down, my stomach doesn't bother me near as much, and I can breathe NORMALLY!

September

I stopped all medications except my arthritis med and my Vitamin D.

A kid ran a stop light in Stayton hitting our Corolla. Justin and Chyenne were in the car at the time, but neither were hurt. The car however, was not so lucky. The 38 mile to the gallon car went away on a tow truck as the front driver side wheel went from perpendicular to parallel with the ground.

October

We bought a mini van. I turned 30, Justin turned 34. NO ONE came to our birthday party. Everyone at work bought me a slice of cake, an orchid and sang happy birthday to me. ISITE is really a great company to work for! 

November

Grandma Wutzke came to visit and hang out. We got some great pics of Chyenne with her. 

Justin started at ISITE as the IT guy that will eventually also program.

December

I have individual posts for this month...please see them :)

Friday Oct. 7, 2011

Justin has been planning a romantic night out for near our birthdays for a while. Gary has to move and asked us to keep Chyenne this weekend which I thought would just move our date to another weekend.  But Justin was determined to go out on Friday.  His mom volunteered to watch Chyenne for the night for us so we could still go on our date.  We both got all dressed up for the occasion. Justin in a suit and tie, me in a skirt, blouse and heels.  Our night started at Red Lobster where we had a fantabulos dinner.  Then we went to Willamette University to watch "Smash" a play put on by their theater department.  The play was a hilarious British comedy that had us both laughing clear through.  By the time the play was over it was already almost 10pm so we headed home.  (I personally had been up since 5am so I was tired and ready for bed) We get back to Justin's place where Justin says, "You know, I had ulterior motives for tonight.  I love you very much Eryn." And as he got down on one knee he asked "Will you marry me?" I said yes! He told me that he asked my mom for permission first and Chyenne for permission first as well.  I will update you as things unfold!

 

New Job!

Quick update....

I got my dream job! I now work for ISITE Design in Portland, OR as a .NET programmer!!!

I have made it through my first week and have loved every second of it!!! I am learning so very much already and can't wait to learn more!!!!

Chyenne's 4th grade pics

So, its hard to believe, but Chyenne will be a 4th grader this year! I did her school pics for the year and here are some!